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save me from childishness in old age
Jul. 3rd, 2006 09:46 pmand by that, i don't mean the descent into senility (although i'd as soon be spared that, as well) - i mean, behaving like a 6-year old, throwing tantrums and pouting if i don't get my own way.
i am on the board of directors of my homeowner association, and we have a couple of retirees on the board. now, they have many strengths - they put a lot of work in, and they bring a lot of experience to things. but neither of them seem to be able to handle it if people don't automatically do as they want.
at the beginning of the year, we changed management companies. we hired the company we are using now at the insistance of one board member. we had actually voted to go with another company, but she was so determined to have this one that she got the owner to drop his fee, and forced another vote. and he is, in fact, a very good property manager (the only objection we had to him was that his fees were pretty high); if we can keep him, i think he will put us on course to get a lot of long-term problems under control. except his former supporter has turned against him - and the only reason i can think is, he stood up to her on some things, and told her there were some things we just couldn't do the way she wants them done - and backed this up with good reasons. but where once he could do no wrong, now she can find nothing but fault. and of course, she makes no direct criticism (and certainly makes no suggestions on how things can be improved) - no, now we just get endless snide emails, pointing out that he has done thus-and-so, and what do we think of that? the latest is that he is "careless" in paying bills - because one check was sent to an incorrect address (a different branch of the company than it should have gone to), one invoice was paid twice (except it was actually submitted twice, with two different amounts) - can't remember the other one just now, but it was something similar, that she is now trying to classify as major financial misconduct. she's talked to him about all of them, and each time (she says) he has an "excuse" (what i would call an explanation)...but i can see now, we are going to be subject to this sniping the rest of the year - and we are going to lose a property manager who has taken the time to oversee our complex personally and brings a great deal of experience to the matter, and be returned to another big company that is going to handle us by rote. and she won't be happy with them either. she _will_ be happy with the situation - she thrives on drama, and on portraying herself as the crusader who saves us all from corporate evil...whether it really exists or not.. she also questions every single expense - and then wants us to do _her_ pet projects with no thought of the cost.
the other board member has a dispute with his neighbor involving a parking space. we are having to await an opinion by our lawyer, as to whether what he wants done can be done by the board. his neighbor has been calm, polite and professional. the board member has has been tempermental, insistent, and whiny. he sent us a couple emails, fussing in great detail about why we haven't made a decision, complaining about the lawyer, asking if he has to quit the board to get a decision, or have we already decided and are just not telling him? (like we could possibly have any reason to do that). we are also interviewing for a landscape architect, to give us some advice on updating the landscaping of the place. the architect could only come tour the place during the week, and this board member was the only one available to walk with him - but he wanted to give the guy a whole huge list of requirements and limitations and rules and regulations (none of which exist yet) before the guy even had a chance to look around. when we suggested that it was best to let the guy see the place and see what he came up with first, he was about to refuse to go - until everyone begged him to do so, and assured him how valuable we thought he was. he is valuable to us - he has put in a lot of his own time to help with some electrical repairs (saving us hundreds of dollars as a result - the other board member wanted us to buy him a gift certificate in thanks, but wanted it to come out of the association's budget - when she found out that was against the bylaws, but we could do something out of our own pockets, she dropped it). he also has the time to oversee various repair projects, and he has some good ideas to keep our records organized - but honestly, if he is going to throw a tantrum and threaten to stomp off every time things don't immediately go his way, i almost wish he _would_ resign.
both of them send endless long e-mails, and talk every subject to death at the meetings...and then complain because we aren't getting anything done.
and both of these are supposedly professional people - one was a teacher, the other an engineer. yet neither one of them seem to get that there are over 300 other homeowners, who all have rights - one of them being the right to want something other than what those board members want, and another being the right to get what they want, occassionally. but these two have no concept of compromise, to say nothing of no ability to accept that they will lose sometimes - and they are willing to spend whatever time it takes to wear everyone else down, and to refuse to accept any decision that is not the one they want.
man, save me from that in my old age. let me realize that the entire world doesn't have to do things _my_ way, and that it might even be interesting to see what ideas other people have, just every once in a while.
on the bright side, i am watching the twilight zone marathon. quite interesting to see the things that were so important 40 years ago or so - right now, the show has burgess meridith being declared "obsolete" in his role as librarian. in some ways, librarians are becoming obsolute in ways rod serling would never have imagined, through the information available to us now over the internet, and in media other than the printed word...which means the level of censorship serling feared becomes less and less possible.
today our culture fears death by terrorism - that one feared death by communism and state totalitarianism. and in some ways we are becoming what we feared...but we came there by quite a different route. wonder what stories serling would tell us about ourselves now.
(hah - the librarian is holding fast to the religion that the totalitarian regime holds does not exist - interesting to compare that to the government's review of religion now.)
i am on the board of directors of my homeowner association, and we have a couple of retirees on the board. now, they have many strengths - they put a lot of work in, and they bring a lot of experience to things. but neither of them seem to be able to handle it if people don't automatically do as they want.
at the beginning of the year, we changed management companies. we hired the company we are using now at the insistance of one board member. we had actually voted to go with another company, but she was so determined to have this one that she got the owner to drop his fee, and forced another vote. and he is, in fact, a very good property manager (the only objection we had to him was that his fees were pretty high); if we can keep him, i think he will put us on course to get a lot of long-term problems under control. except his former supporter has turned against him - and the only reason i can think is, he stood up to her on some things, and told her there were some things we just couldn't do the way she wants them done - and backed this up with good reasons. but where once he could do no wrong, now she can find nothing but fault. and of course, she makes no direct criticism (and certainly makes no suggestions on how things can be improved) - no, now we just get endless snide emails, pointing out that he has done thus-and-so, and what do we think of that? the latest is that he is "careless" in paying bills - because one check was sent to an incorrect address (a different branch of the company than it should have gone to), one invoice was paid twice (except it was actually submitted twice, with two different amounts) - can't remember the other one just now, but it was something similar, that she is now trying to classify as major financial misconduct. she's talked to him about all of them, and each time (she says) he has an "excuse" (what i would call an explanation)...but i can see now, we are going to be subject to this sniping the rest of the year - and we are going to lose a property manager who has taken the time to oversee our complex personally and brings a great deal of experience to the matter, and be returned to another big company that is going to handle us by rote. and she won't be happy with them either. she _will_ be happy with the situation - she thrives on drama, and on portraying herself as the crusader who saves us all from corporate evil...whether it really exists or not.. she also questions every single expense - and then wants us to do _her_ pet projects with no thought of the cost.
the other board member has a dispute with his neighbor involving a parking space. we are having to await an opinion by our lawyer, as to whether what he wants done can be done by the board. his neighbor has been calm, polite and professional. the board member has has been tempermental, insistent, and whiny. he sent us a couple emails, fussing in great detail about why we haven't made a decision, complaining about the lawyer, asking if he has to quit the board to get a decision, or have we already decided and are just not telling him? (like we could possibly have any reason to do that). we are also interviewing for a landscape architect, to give us some advice on updating the landscaping of the place. the architect could only come tour the place during the week, and this board member was the only one available to walk with him - but he wanted to give the guy a whole huge list of requirements and limitations and rules and regulations (none of which exist yet) before the guy even had a chance to look around. when we suggested that it was best to let the guy see the place and see what he came up with first, he was about to refuse to go - until everyone begged him to do so, and assured him how valuable we thought he was. he is valuable to us - he has put in a lot of his own time to help with some electrical repairs (saving us hundreds of dollars as a result - the other board member wanted us to buy him a gift certificate in thanks, but wanted it to come out of the association's budget - when she found out that was against the bylaws, but we could do something out of our own pockets, she dropped it). he also has the time to oversee various repair projects, and he has some good ideas to keep our records organized - but honestly, if he is going to throw a tantrum and threaten to stomp off every time things don't immediately go his way, i almost wish he _would_ resign.
both of them send endless long e-mails, and talk every subject to death at the meetings...and then complain because we aren't getting anything done.
and both of these are supposedly professional people - one was a teacher, the other an engineer. yet neither one of them seem to get that there are over 300 other homeowners, who all have rights - one of them being the right to want something other than what those board members want, and another being the right to get what they want, occassionally. but these two have no concept of compromise, to say nothing of no ability to accept that they will lose sometimes - and they are willing to spend whatever time it takes to wear everyone else down, and to refuse to accept any decision that is not the one they want.
man, save me from that in my old age. let me realize that the entire world doesn't have to do things _my_ way, and that it might even be interesting to see what ideas other people have, just every once in a while.
on the bright side, i am watching the twilight zone marathon. quite interesting to see the things that were so important 40 years ago or so - right now, the show has burgess meridith being declared "obsolete" in his role as librarian. in some ways, librarians are becoming obsolute in ways rod serling would never have imagined, through the information available to us now over the internet, and in media other than the printed word...which means the level of censorship serling feared becomes less and less possible.
today our culture fears death by terrorism - that one feared death by communism and state totalitarianism. and in some ways we are becoming what we feared...but we came there by quite a different route. wonder what stories serling would tell us about ourselves now.
(hah - the librarian is holding fast to the religion that the totalitarian regime holds does not exist - interesting to compare that to the government's review of religion now.)
