why does my body refuse to cooperate with me?

[mouse_rants]

so i'm on a diet, which is for the _good_ of my wretched body, and it's not like i'm feeding it bad things or depriving it, really, it gets a nice healthy balanced diet of nutritious tasty food, and what does it do? it craves Bad Things. bad fatty salty high-calorie things. and then it gets all limp and low-blood-sugary, so i have to give in and feed it and then i don't lose weight. stupid body.

IS THIS THE THANKS I GET, AFTER ALL I'VE DONE FOR YOU??